okay, so before I start, let me explain that I am very, very, very tired, and probably very, very aggravated, but if there's one thing that I've learned from working at a factory the past two weeks to stay with my beloved
it's that I do my best thinking when I'm tired, and to always trust my instincts, so here goes:
my Friend has this Friend, whom I want to like.... she's educated, ambitious, morally sound, and the perfect kind of crazy... so how come half the time I see her, I want to rip her head off?
is it that I feel threatened by her superior strength and intellect, or that she sometimes steals Kayla from me when I feel like I need her? is it because our first outing lead to one of the most infuriating nights of my life?
does she destroy my self conscious every time we meet? am I jealous? Angry? Threatened? Stupid? I just don't know....
for the sake of everyone's conscious and privacy, i won't use names, but a couple people who read this will know who I"m talking about, and for that I"m sorry, but I just had to get this down.
anyway, back the venting. This Friend of a Friend brought a little black book, titled fifty shades of bondage and submission. that's fine, I love experimenting, I really do (actually I love it.).... but then she and Kayla teamed up against me, and suddenly I'm not even allowed to look at this damn thing except specific sections, like a damn kid. and for those of you thinking this, no, this wasn't part of some sexy denial game, I have no idea why they wouldn't let me look, but what really pissed me off is one of those stupid 'learn about yourself quizzes' that apparently made it clear that I'm a submissive.
okay... my sexual orientation and practice are rooted in a lot of pain and self reflection, so for someone to just try and some all it up without even knowing ANYTHING about why I am what I am really, really, REALLY pisses me the fuck off.
atop of that, she's a virgin, sworn to celibacy. that's fine, more power to her and her choices, but she has no frame of reference to comment on sex until she actually experiences it.
she would be equally pissed if I started talking about parts of the bible that I'm not properly equpired to comment about, so what gives her the right to comment on our sex life? yeah, I get it their friend, their going to share secrets, but you know what?
I'm more of a personal person. I don't kiss and tell (not often) not because I'm being noble, but because I simply don't feel like sharing that kind of information freely.
well, that's my rant for the night.... hope you all enjoyed it, I'm going to try and clam down before I do something I'll regret...